3.03.2008

today's contemplating thoughts.

i've been thinking.

where am i going?
i don't know. i'm going to a place better. marriage. i will have a support system by my side. its good now. but its gonna be better. i'll wake up with him by my side, and instantly smile. i know this. i am going to a better place. a place of living for someone. a place of cooking, laundry, cleaning, everything for him.

what am i doing?
i am living. i am going about day to day. i am trying to please everyone. i am doing a no sugar bet. it sucks. i am trying to get healthy. i am working everyday. i am trying to please my family. i am trying to please my fiance. i am trying to please myself. but sadly, the only time i am truly satisfied, is when i'm pleasing everyone else. but really, that brings me the most happiness, and i'm ok with that.

who am i?
i am a daughter. a friend. a sister. an aunt. a sister-in-law. an aid. a listener. a fiance. a supporter. a helper. a worrier. a watcher. a procrastinator. a peace maker. a singer. a cousin. a scrapbooker. a foot masseuse. a music freak. a flight watcher. an american idol watcher. a co-worker. a granddaughter. a niece. i am mindy. completely imperfect and alive.

who do i want to be?
i want to be brave. to be a psychologist. a wife. a mom. an amazing auntie. a better fiance. a better daughter. a better friend. a better sister. i want to write more. i want to scrapbook more. i want to sing more. i want to be everything i dreamed of when i was little.

BUT. i am what i am. i will try to be better. i will be all that i can. i just have to embrace being me. and worrying about "numero uno"first- as mike would say. haha. i don't know where i'll be in a year from now. but i'll do my best to make it better.

7 comments:

riggsfam said...

lots on the mind, eh? keep on keeping on :)

jill s said...

make time to take care of yourself lou.

and i hope mike helps out with the household chores...lol.

love you. miss you.

xx
jill

Traci said...

You are an awesome sister, friend...etc. You're the best! Love ya!

Mom said...

I love you Lou! You are an awesome daughter! You have so many great qualities! It was fun to have you singing yesterday! I love your voice! You're beautiful!

LetterToKayleen said...

Where there is movement, there is improvement.


yes. i'm usually this cheesy and cliche'.


thanks for the props.


love your site.


kayleen.

Landon and Kate said...

AHHH mindy, i dont know why i do that, y's are 100 times better then i's... and you've told me mulitple times. it wont happen again, promise.

Tim & Amy said...

hope YOU are truly happy with your life. make every choice with the intention of making YOU happy first, and everyone else happy next. It took me a while to realize that THAT is what will make you truly happy. if you go about making everyone else happy - life will just continue to be troublesome and difficult.

make time to pamper yourself and spoil yourself! :o) you deserve it! and hopefully mike is pampering and spoiling you, too!

chores are not just the ladies responsibility ma'am! I'll send you an article about that! ;o)