i never thought at age 22 i could go through so much. 
i never thought i could feel so many deep emotions.
i never thought i would be going through a divorce.
i never thought i would feel this way, its too hard to describe.
i never thought i could get through this. 

3-4 weeks ago, i didnt think i would get through this. & honestly felt God was giving me something i COULDNT handle. 

i never thought i'd ever want so badly to be 5 again.
i never thought i'd feel so much hurt. so much pain. so much heartache.
i never thought i'd get to this point of feeling again that "God won't give me anything i can't handle"- (i just wish he didnt trust me so much) i'm a believer now. if you asked me 3 weeks ago- i questioned it.

thank you family. thank you friends. for kind words. for not judging. for being good listeners. 

quote by president  DIETER F. UCHTDORF:
"It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop.
There are those among you who, although young, have already suffered a full measure of grief and sorrow. My heart is filled with compassion and love for you. How dear you are to the Church. How beloved you are of your Heavenly Father. Though it may seem that you are alone, angels attend you. Though you may feel that no one can understand the depth of your despair, our Savior, Jesus Christ, understands. He suffered more than we can possibly imagine, and He did it for us; He did it for you. You are not alone."
If you ever feel your burden is too great to bear, lift your heart to your Heavenly Father, and He will uphold and bless you. He says to you, as He said to Joseph Smith, “[Your] adversity and [your] afflictions shall be but a small moment; and then, if [you] endure it well, God shall exalt [you] on high.” 

Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself... 'How did I get through all of that?

Hope is the feeling we have- that the feeling we have is not permanent.  ~Mignon McLaughlin

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in, forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day, you shall begin it well and serenely...” ralph waldo emerson

my word for the year has changed... it is now BREATHE. just  breathe. breathe. breathe.