3.29.2008

its gonna be good.

Today. its gonna be good. i can feel it.

a sugar, laughing, happy filled day :)

enjoy this song...

When did you fall, by Chris Rice

3.27.2008

root yourself on, in the victory of life.

Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you. Walt Whitman

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. Bill Cosby


Dear Self,
i come to you, to beg of you, to never let your dreams go. never settle to be anything less than what you dream of. if it is a baker, a florist, a poet, a teacher, a student, a mother, a counselor, a photographer, a pilot, whatever it is- believe in all that you are. and all that you are not. if you pick one thing to accomplish each day, each week, each year, if it is that of a grain of sand, once you build it up, you'll have mountains. believe in yourself. in your passion. in what you have done. and the person you want to become. when life throws curveballs, when it throws trials, when you are drowning in feeling sorry for yourself, when you "feel like swiss cheese(what goes in the lonely holes?"-sabrina ward harrison) then think of a time when you were brave. when you had courage beyond belief. when you get to that place in your mind, in your heart, that is where the change begins. that is where the growth takes place. so be who you are. be what you want to be. try. try. try. and when you fail. try again. i've only learned this in the last few months. it isn't about anyone else. it is about how we feel and how we want to feel. its about pushing past fear, and doing what seems impossible. it is taking chances. it is about breathing deeply in who you are. and praying for the strength to be who he knows you are.

i'm rooting you on.

toodles everyone.

sorry for such a random post today :)

3.22.2008

american idol fans??

OH boy!

here are my favs! :)

Brooke White (mike went to HS with her)


David Archuleta: AMAZING



And...last but CERTAINLY not least...this good looking man...Jason Castro!

3.21.2008

hm.

{yes. its 4:40 a.m.}

on a friday.

on SPRING BREAK.

i went to bed at 11:30 last night.

now i'm sure my family is thinking - how is MINDY up EARLY???, on any day she is given the chance to sleep in- i am thinking the same thing, if that helps you out any.

my parents got up around 4, and i heard pots and pans and dishes being banged around in the kitchen. I didn't know what time it was, so i figured dad was up in the middle of the night, again. not so. so i started thinking about church stuff. and then i decided to find my journal in a box in my room, and write. so i did. and my hand was cramping. its been far too long. and this is SO much easier to write on. haha. maybe i'm more inspired in the wee hours of the morning. so here it goes:

i don't really like change. i never have. so moving from a house i had lived in for my whole life was going to be a big change. so leading up to moving, wasn't a happy time for me. but when we did- it wasn't so bad. maybe because my sister and i still met there before work every morning- until the last chair was taken out. or maybe because i still see the house almost daily, because mike lives down the street. or maybe because i have so many memories there, that its not that hard leaving the house behind, holding those memories dear to me.

i have never been brave. i never did sports.i don't like pain. i don't do well with things being thrown at me-- anyone else with me? probably not. i never tried out for solos- maybe a fear people would throw things at me if i did horrible. ha. ha. maybe daring is a better word. i have never been daring. or brave. but lately- i've definitely gone out of my comfort zone. and stepped past my deep fears. i sang a duet with my dad in church. i am much better at saying whats bothering me, without a fear that the person will get frustrated or mad at me. yes, i'm still a little shy on that side, but much better! i'm learning to take risks and learn from the times i don't.

this whole No sweets. no soda. no nothing diet. i like it. my throat hasn't been swollen since we started it. well at least not as big as it was. i've lost 6-8 lbs. probably mostly from not drinking soda. but i feel better. really. we get one cheat day a month- which means i'm taking my bridal shower day next saturday. and i'm really looking forward to it. despite feeling all great not having that stuff! one day won't hurt :)

but most of all, sitting up at 4-5 a.m. i'm thinking about how great it is to have family and friends that support me. who listen. who comfort. who cheer me on & pick me up when i'm down. (this is getting cheesy- apology accepted?) but really--- i think you are all amazing. i've had my rough times the last little while, and i've needed all of you. even if you haven't had a clue whats going on my life. you've all taken a part in affecting my life- for the better.

is there anything i can do for anyone? i'm finally done with wedding stuff. besides painting a few frames. anyone need a frame? a card? a lunch date? haha. i'm ready and willing. and yes, although it is 5 in the morning- i am wide awake and sane. as sane as i normally am i guess.

so good morning everyone!
i'm gonna get a snack & head back to bed! i shouldn't waste sleep like this! :)

3.17.2008

time flies.

wow.

6 weeks. 4 days.


and we tie the knot.
get hitched.
get married.
have a husband.
become a wife.
start a new beginning.

we have everything done.
just have to get the flowers situated, and that's it.

haleluia.

time is flying FAR too quickly, it seems like yesterday we went on our first date.

9-21-07: we went to the desert and watched arachnophobia with a few other couples.

and that is where the beginning was.

i love him SO much. he is my everything. my love. my friend. my supporter. my favorite.

3.08.2008

OH BOY

i am singing with my dad in the morning at church.


and i'm going to be SOOOO nervous!


I haven't sang in church since i was 8 with my friend Krystal, on Easter.

so 12 years later, here i am... :S yikes.


i have sang in church, but with 4 other girls. not as nerve wracking.

i HAVE sang in relief society with dad, for moms lesson. NOT as nerve wracking.


WISH ME LUCK!

3.03.2008

today's contemplating thoughts.

i've been thinking.

where am i going?
i don't know. i'm going to a place better. marriage. i will have a support system by my side. its good now. but its gonna be better. i'll wake up with him by my side, and instantly smile. i know this. i am going to a better place. a place of living for someone. a place of cooking, laundry, cleaning, everything for him.

what am i doing?
i am living. i am going about day to day. i am trying to please everyone. i am doing a no sugar bet. it sucks. i am trying to get healthy. i am working everyday. i am trying to please my family. i am trying to please my fiance. i am trying to please myself. but sadly, the only time i am truly satisfied, is when i'm pleasing everyone else. but really, that brings me the most happiness, and i'm ok with that.

who am i?
i am a daughter. a friend. a sister. an aunt. a sister-in-law. an aid. a listener. a fiance. a supporter. a helper. a worrier. a watcher. a procrastinator. a peace maker. a singer. a cousin. a scrapbooker. a foot masseuse. a music freak. a flight watcher. an american idol watcher. a co-worker. a granddaughter. a niece. i am mindy. completely imperfect and alive.

who do i want to be?
i want to be brave. to be a psychologist. a wife. a mom. an amazing auntie. a better fiance. a better daughter. a better friend. a better sister. i want to write more. i want to scrapbook more. i want to sing more. i want to be everything i dreamed of when i was little.

BUT. i am what i am. i will try to be better. i will be all that i can. i just have to embrace being me. and worrying about "numero uno"first- as mike would say. haha. i don't know where i'll be in a year from now. but i'll do my best to make it better.