{yes. its 4:40 a.m.}

on a friday.


i went to bed at 11:30 last night.

now i'm sure my family is thinking - how is MINDY up EARLY???, on any day she is given the chance to sleep in- i am thinking the same thing, if that helps you out any.

my parents got up around 4, and i heard pots and pans and dishes being banged around in the kitchen. I didn't know what time it was, so i figured dad was up in the middle of the night, again. not so. so i started thinking about church stuff. and then i decided to find my journal in a box in my room, and write. so i did. and my hand was cramping. its been far too long. and this is SO much easier to write on. haha. maybe i'm more inspired in the wee hours of the morning. so here it goes:

i don't really like change. i never have. so moving from a house i had lived in for my whole life was going to be a big change. so leading up to moving, wasn't a happy time for me. but when we did- it wasn't so bad. maybe because my sister and i still met there before work every morning- until the last chair was taken out. or maybe because i still see the house almost daily, because mike lives down the street. or maybe because i have so many memories there, that its not that hard leaving the house behind, holding those memories dear to me.

i have never been brave. i never did sports.i don't like pain. i don't do well with things being thrown at me-- anyone else with me? probably not. i never tried out for solos- maybe a fear people would throw things at me if i did horrible. ha. ha. maybe daring is a better word. i have never been daring. or brave. but lately- i've definitely gone out of my comfort zone. and stepped past my deep fears. i sang a duet with my dad in church. i am much better at saying whats bothering me, without a fear that the person will get frustrated or mad at me. yes, i'm still a little shy on that side, but much better! i'm learning to take risks and learn from the times i don't.

this whole No sweets. no soda. no nothing diet. i like it. my throat hasn't been swollen since we started it. well at least not as big as it was. i've lost 6-8 lbs. probably mostly from not drinking soda. but i feel better. really. we get one cheat day a month- which means i'm taking my bridal shower day next saturday. and i'm really looking forward to it. despite feeling all great not having that stuff! one day won't hurt :)

but most of all, sitting up at 4-5 a.m. i'm thinking about how great it is to have family and friends that support me. who listen. who comfort. who cheer me on & pick me up when i'm down. (this is getting cheesy- apology accepted?) but really--- i think you are all amazing. i've had my rough times the last little while, and i've needed all of you. even if you haven't had a clue whats going on my life. you've all taken a part in affecting my life- for the better.

is there anything i can do for anyone? i'm finally done with wedding stuff. besides painting a few frames. anyone need a frame? a card? a lunch date? haha. i'm ready and willing. and yes, although it is 5 in the morning- i am wide awake and sane. as sane as i normally am i guess.

so good morning everyone!
i'm gonna get a snack & head back to bed! i shouldn't waste sleep like this! :)


riggsfam said...

Wow! Who knew you could be up that early and actually be happy about it? :) The question is...why were Mom and Dad up that early?

Traci said...

I CAN'T believe you were up that early. I was up at 1, took some perc...and back to sleep. I love you & I'm very happy for you. Oh...mom & dad went to the temple

mindy said...

And I thought you slept in till 11! You went back to bed and then got up when I was on my bike ride...then back to bed again! I enjoyed your post! You're awesome! I'm glad the move wasn't as bad as you thought it would be!

Mom said...

That was Mom on the last post--not Mindy!!

Tim & Amy said...

Sorry pans were being banged around. Weird.
Glad that things are going SO well for you! ;o) We all love you more than you know! Let US know if WE can do anything for YOU!
You are fabulous!

Farnsworth Family said...

Hey girl! It's Jana. How are ya? I've been wondering what you're up to so I decided to drop you a line in your blog.... You are too cute!