Spilling the Beans

My sister jill gave me a blank book in 2004.

i titled it "spilling the beans". my brother in law jim- took a picture of beans falling out of my hands. && i put it on the cover. (if my scanner was working properly i could post the pages.)

i have a page of just a few quotes in it:

"you do not have to be your mother, unless she is who you want to be; the only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be" - unknown

"i'm afraid to show you who i really am, because if i show you who i really am, you might not like it, and thats all i've got" sabrina ward harrison.

"average isnt awful, but it is as close to the bottom as it is to the top." unknown.


"a new idea is delicate. it can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke or worried to death by a frown on the right persons brow." - charles brower

in 8th grade we had to write a poem. this was mine- and i wrote it again in this book.

LIFE GOES ON
people scream,
people cuss,
people cry,
life goes on.
we get hurt
we get well
life goes on.
people die
people cry
we don't know why
life goes on.
abusing
hurting
killing
life goes on.
we stand there while all this happens,
wondering why.
but we can't help it.
life just goes on.

i asked some of my friends in highschool what they have learned about life so far:
(i wont put their full names. just in case- these individuals knew i was going to put this in my book. & some spilled their hearts. makes me tear up.- dont forget these are their ages in highschool when they wrote these things. i was 17 at the time.)

Robert 18: i learned that life takes you for a ride, but the only thing you can do is hold on tight and see where HE wants you to go. You can't control destiny, but you can control your destination.

Annie 17: well i've learned a couple things about life... no matter what the circumstances are, things can always get worse. you just have to take a step back, look at the big picture. its then you realize that life isn't as bad as it seems.

Brianne 16: well life is tough for the most part. but its a road we all have to travel at one time or another. some people have it worse off than others, but i guess the more you go through the stronger you get. i guess you could- i've been through a lot, but i'm still going. very slowly but i'm alive. it still hurts of course. especially when i think of my dad. he died of blood clotting in the artery. he smoked unfortunately. but he was trying to quit. he had been smoking too long though i guess. it got the better of him in the end. he had a habit of holding grudges too. he and my mom had not talked to eachother for a while and he was just starting to talk to her again. go figure eh? as for now, my mom is still ill with fibromyalgia. 3 1/2 years now. it seemed like an eternity. my brother is getting into a lot of trouble at school and is failing. we cant really blame him though. he had a stroke almost immediately after he was born and it cramped up the left side of his brain. so the right side of his body is really weak now. hes lucky he looks normal. everyone thought he would be handicapped for the rest of his life whether it would be talking or walking. he was a miracle. ah geez and my poor grandma has been diagnosed with everything and has had several heart attacks. she does everything to help us out though nonetheless. well now that ive spilled my heart and life story- i'll tell you about me. for the most part, i'm the only normal one and it completely sucks. but i write music as an outlet. its fun and comforting.

lucy 16: so far in life, i have learned that love shouldn't hurt, and when you find it you will know it because it is the best feeling ever.

arianne 17: well mindy, one thing i have learned in life is: you HAVE to be yourself because nobody else will be you and nobody else can be. also that it is possible to change bad habits and bad things you do and add good things to what you want to be doing but it is impossible to change yourself completely. also that if you are not open and are yourself at all times then you will feel unsure about who you are because you aren't really you. the worst thing in the world is to not know yourself. you can think that you will just let other people get to know you and then try and figure out who you are by them... but you are just conforming to them. you must first find our who you are and who you want to be and then let others see you, the REAL you. clearly i hate it when people aren't true to themselves.

suzanne 17: what i've learned from life... life isn't about easy tasks or escaping hardships. i've learned that life is what you make it. for example everybody makes mistakes. the hardest part of life is realizing youve made a mistake and pretty much just DEALING with it. i've also realized through my life that high school in itself is its own pathway through life. its way different from jr high, and elementary school. people are thinking they can do drugs and pretty much run wild. but that's not the way it works. because i've learned for myself that i am who i am and thats ok. i'm ok with being the rebel but i'm also ok with keeping up the standards i've set for myself. it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks as much as it matters what i think about me. i've found and like my "me-ish-ness"(sabrina ward harrison)

Janaya 17: one thing i have learned is: steal, lie, cheat, and drink! if you must steal, steal someones heart. if you must lie, lie about your age. if you must cheat, cheat death. and if you must drink, have one for me.

brittany 15 1/2: i have learned that you can't have your cake and eat it too. life is hard and unnatural. everything is always competition... who is the skinniest and prettiest....but really you need to look more into the average person. usually you will find out something creative about them. and thats how life goes.

adam 18:
love- love is worth reaching for, but don't stretch so far you fall on your face.
family- coming from someone who doesn't deal well with his... i've learned that life is much smoother when everyone gets along.

sam 17: never eat yellow snow. you can go anywhere in life as long as you look important and carry a clipboard. never stay mad at your friends because they come in handy. forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for a late pizza(ninja turtles)


i am 21 years old now. i started journaling & crafting in my book 6 years ago. i feel like my outlook on life has changed completely from when i was 17. i have also come into my "me-ish-ness"(sabrina ward harrison) and i worry less about about what other people think. i can't say i don't worry at all, but improving. I credit jill and sabrina ward harrison for inspiring the book. although i have many pages still blank- i hope someday it will be complete enough to share with those i love. i felt like sharing part of the book with you. going back and reading the book & what my friends have learned in life reminds me that we must never judge the people we know. we do not completely know what they are going through and their hardships and internal battles. thank you to those who contributed to part of this.

thank you for letting me share a part of the book. this is a long post...


ilove this one too. i hadnt heard it in so long.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mULa8WxTa4

letter to self.

I was going through old posts from march 2008. and i felt like this was worth re-posting. for myself anyways...

Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you. Walt Whitman

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. Bill Cosby


Dear Self,
i come to you, to beg of you, to never let your dreams go. never settle to be anything less than what you dream of. if it is a baker, a florist, a poet, a teacher, a student, a mother, a counselor, a photographer, a pilot, whatever it is- believe in all that you are. and all that you are not. if you pick one thing to accomplish each day, each week, each year, if it is that of a grain of sand, once you build it up, you'll have mountains. believe in yourself. in your passion. in what you have done. and the person you want to become. when life throws curveballs, when it throws trials, when you are drowning in feeling sorry for yourself, when you "feel like swiss cheese(what goes in the lonely holes?"-sabrina ward harrison) then think of a time when you were brave. when you had courage beyond belief. when you get to that place in your mind, in your heart, that is where the change begins. that is where the growth takes place. so be who you are. be what you want to be. try. try. try. and when you fail. try again. i've only learned this in the last few months. it isn't about anyone else. it is about how we feel and how we want to feel. its about pushing past fear, and doing what seems impossible. it is taking chances. it is about breathing deeply in who you are. and praying for the strength to be who he knows you are.

i'm rooting you on.

2 years. cotton.

Ok fellow readers... our two year anniversary is coming up. and its time we have new bedding. I looked it up and Two year anniversary the gift is Cotton. i LOVE LOVE this bedding. I'm thinking this comforter...

http://www.target.com/Home-Kissing-Pleat-Comforter-Set/dp/B001LW3GRU/ref=br_1_77?ie=UTF8&frombrowse=1&searchView=grid5&searchNodeID=372864011&node=372864011&sr=1-77&searchRank=price&searchPage=1&sessionID=192-1752656-7139458&searchSize=90&qid=

with this color sheets.... eh?
http://www.target.com/Home-Kissing-Pleat-Comforter-Set/dp/B002KCYIG8/ref=pd_ecc_rvi_2

when i was at target i saw the body size pillow in this purple color and i wanted it.
i want opinions. :) im sure- actually almost positive mike wont have an opinion. and possibly might think its lame that i think we need new bedding. but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.

cleaning & crafting

Yup, monday is here. and i am starting to clean. its no joke this year- spring break really does mean Spring cleaning. I was looking forward to relaxing and crafting as i pleased. Shopping, watching movies, visiting family, going on my walks with Mary because i've been slacking for the last 3 weeks. (i wasnt feeling good -one way or another- the last few weeks)

I sold 7 hair wraps on friday at work.
I just thought i'd mention- Sabrina Ward Harrison - author of the most amazing book- Spilling Open: the art of becoming yourself. --- (if you know me well, you have heard of this book, i may have even given you a copy as a gift.) Well, on Facebook- she said she liked my picture of one of my hair wraps. When i saw that, it was like receiving the greatest compliment in the world. I immediately commented on her page & said how flattered i was and how much her book means to me. She replied BACK! (i'm not sure why i was so shocked, I said jill can you BELIEVE this?!- she replied YES mindy i can!) Sabrina is real and genuine just like her books.

Sabrina:

I love your headbands! I would love to wear one if I could pull it off with my short hair
Mindy:oh you can!!! It would be my gift to you... can you message me an address that i can ship it to? tell me what colors you want and i'll whip one up for you!

Although she didnt reply yet, i'm still so very flattered. my sister jill will be going to her workshop in a month in Seattle and will be hand delivering a hair wrap. I cant wait.

anyways... i better get back to cleaning. traci & harley are coming over soon....

love you all.

new letters

new posts over at
blueyedesign.blogspot.com